I'm a pretty unusual person. But in that sense, you and I are just the same.
Just kidding. I have no life. I'm pretty much the lamest person I know. I hate to sound this way, but if it weren't for my personality, I'd be the lamest person within a few thousand miles.
There is beauty in everything.
Everything is beautiful. Nothing hurts.
Curse the limitations of this wretched thing we call language.
Photo reblogged from Take a Picture with 193 notes
Life Explained Graphically (9/13): Likelihood of a computer issue being resolved by…
Source: mindsprings
Post with 1 note
74jailbreaker replied to your post: Common themes.
Am I using you Bilbo?
Hell, no, brother, you’re not using me. I’m talking about the people in this building (and many others) that won’t look at you unless you’re of use to them. Sucks living with people who make you believe that you’ve discovered the secret to invisibility.
Post with 1 note
Also,
Poculum (one of my favorite blogs ever) doesn’t exist anymore. URL not found. URL never found.
So it goes.
Post with 1 note
Common themes.
Tonight (today? this morning?), I’m looking at things that may or may not have been good to me, and how I’m gonna fix those things right the fuck up.
It’s recently come to my attention (although it never really left) that a lot of what I have with people is something that I understand as friendships of convenience. I’m glad I have a small handful of people who I’ve kept in touch with over the years, but it seems like very little has changed in those terms. I don’t talk much to most of the people I used to see all the time.
Something funny happened today. I was in my room with my girlfriend and my roommate (two separate people, I assure you) when I heard someone call my name from outside my room.
That’s funny. That’s something I don’t hear very often.
It was one of the girls living upstairs, asking me to “help move some furniture outside so people could tan comfortably” or some bullshit like that.
Bullshit, because nobody would ask me for help like that when there are other people who they would normally ask. It was a trap. Either a prank of sorts, or I was being used (again). Big surprise.
So there’s a record of that happening here now. I noticed it a while ago, and I think I might just be a teensy bit paranoid, but I also have to cover my ass, and I can’t let myself be taken advantage of. I hope those cookies were worth it. I’m getting kind of tired of it, and it’s kind of depressing knowing that I wasted a lot of social potential in my hall. I don’t expect to be in many of the pictures or whatever at the banquet or in Moma Squirrel’s scrapbook, but I guess I brought that upon myself.
On a nicer note, I had my first lucid dream in months a couple nights ago. It was wonderful to fly freely again. I was at home, at the supermarket my mom used to always try sending me to in the afternoon but I always got out of going to. I saw an acquaintance from around campus in that dream. I guess I began to lose lucidity, because I started running into power lines and didn’t realize that I could get rid of them and that they were incapable of hurting me. I suppose it was fun while it lasted, though.
Last week was a really good week for me. I got a ton (I mean a TON) of work done. It’s almost 3:30 AM and I am committed to getting shit done again this week. Nothing too heavy. The only things I’m really worried about are the two Java programming assignments that are due this week. I have an AfAm midterm Tuesday morning, for a class that I have an A in and am taking pass/no pass, and therefore do not give one single fuck about right now. There’s also a minor assignment for my writing course that I can put off til Tuesday night and won’t take me more than half an hour to complete.
The thought that kept me working last week was constantly asking myself was: What would be the right thing to do, given the fact that my parents are giving up a lot so I could be here and I’m gonna be in debt once I get out? My answer, I better make sure I make the most of everything I have here, while I have the chance to. Being lazy, procrastinating, putting off my work, it’s betrayal— of my parents, of myself, and of the people who take time from their lives to make sure I’m doing well. It’s already week 9 of 10 this quarter, and then finals week, and then that’s it, freshman year is over.
Here’s what I remember about those programming assignments: To use an array, you declare new int [] = new array {x, y, z, n} or something like that. In simpler terms, I am telling the computer to create a new object that stores a set of values, and then listing the values I want stored in the order that I want them. Writing the methods is gonna be a little tricky, as I’m still shaky on some simple idioms when writing loops. Kind of embarrassing, really, taking 10 minutes to think through one part of one line of code. I guess that’s what the posted material and the notes I take are for. I should do ok on the next written midterm. Failure is not an option. I wanna go Comp Sci or Comp Game Sci, damnit, and I don’t want to kick myself again later for my initial ambivalence toward things.
That’s another problem I have. I’m indecisive as fuck, at least when I’m in a new situation. It happened in middle school, it happened when I chose what high school to go to, it happened when I was choosing what school to go to, and it happened when I was trying to figure out what the hell it is I want to study. I also have not been active in any clubs or organizations on campus, even though I’ve got some presence in a lot of Facebook groups. I should really cut that shit out.
I can’t wait for the end of the year. I’m looking forward to being at home for a bit again, and I’m excited to have enough time to chase some stuff that I haven’t had time for during the year. I’m looking at building myself a new computer by the summer’s end, specific goal of running BF3 at Ultra, minimum 60 f/s. Good thing I live within biking distance from Microcenter, and good thing everywhere else delivers, and good thing I have a dad who loves going to Fry’s. I’ll be taking classes toward the end of the summer, but I’ll also be living right next to one of the nicest gyms I’ve ever been to, so hopefully I’ll also be able to finish 12 weeks of SL 5x5. I was making great progress, but work is a bitch and the hours are incredibly inconvenient. I don’t think these checks are worth the amount of trouble it is to even be able to earn the pay. Time is money, after all. Gotta make sure I’m getting out more than I’m putting in.
Finally, I want to say congratulations to two couples that got married this weekend. First, to my cousins Montes and Latios, I’m so sorry I didn’t make it to your wedding. I should have been there, I could have been there. You two have a wonderful future together. Second, to an old friend who has grown up so much in the 10-odd years since I met you in elementary school. I wish you the best.
Page 1 of 79